Every now and then I read a book which not only entertains me but shifts my thinking. Alain de Botton’s novel, A course of love, is such a book. Almost nineteen years into my marriage, and I found this book on love and marriage both illuminating and familiar. I will definitely be placing it on my husband’s bedside table to read! And regardless of your relationship status, this beautifully written book is so wise and funny (read about the Ikea expedition to find glasses!) and tender, you will find something, if not all of it, to enjoy.

Alain de Botton usually writes non-fiction – even if he didn’t have an impressive list of non-fiction titles, you can tell by the observational passages in italics throughout the novel. The story follows Rabih Khan, son of a Lebanese engineer father and a German air-hostess mother and Kirsten McLelland, a Scottish woman whose mother was a school teacher and brought Kirsten up by herself after her father abandoned them.

The philosophical, non-fiction type of passages offer insights into the general nature of love –

Love reaches a pitch at those moments when our beloved turns out to understand, more clearly than others have ever been able to, and perhaps even better than we do ourselves, the chaotic, embarrassing and shameful parts of us. That someone else gets who we are and both sympathises with and forgives us for what they see underpins our whole capacity to trust and to give. Love is a dividend of gratitude for our lover’s insight into our own confused and trouble psyche.

Unlike most love stories, this story deals with their initial meeting, dating and wedding pretty quickly, leaving most of the novel to tell the story of their marriage. And as anyone who has been married knows, while movies usually stop the film after the happily-ever-after part, the real story begins, with real life, after the wedding or commitment.

The book intertwines the fictional story of Rabih and Kirsten and the non-fiction observational notes. Here’s an example of the fiction in the early pages –

He has, without knowing how, richly succeeded at the three central challenges underpinning the Romantic idea of love: he has found the right person, he has opened his heart to her and he has been accepted.

And yet he is, of course, nowhere yet. He and Kirsten will marry, they will suffer, they will frequently worry about money, they will have a girl first, then a boy, one of them will have an affair, there will be passages of boredom, they’ll sometimes want to murder one another and on a few occasions to kill themselves. This will be the real story.

And here’s an example of Rabih and Kirsten’s story towards the end of the book –

Rabih anxiously attacks; Kirsten avoidantly withdraws. They are two people who need one another badly and yet are simultaneously terrified of letting on just how much they do so. Neither stays with an injury long enough truly to acknowledge or feel it, or to explain it to the person who inflicted it. It takes reserves of confidence they don’t possess to keep faith with the one who has offended them. They would need to trust the other sufficiently to make it clear that they aren’t really ‘angry’ or ‘cold’ but are instead, and always, something far more basic, touching and deserving of affection: hurt. They cannot offer each other that most romantically necessary of gifts: a guide to their own vulnerabilities.

I sometimes wonder what I’ll tell my three kids about love if they ask. (At the moment, Mr 7 thinks love is when ‘you kiss on the lips!’) How do you know if you’ve met your soulmate? How do you trust that it will last? How do you know if it’s real? How do you know if your partner will do the dishes or soothe the baby in the middle of the night or stick by your side through a mental illness or  support you when your business goes bankrupt? I’m looking forward to these conversations with my kids – even if I don’t know the answers – and then I’ll give them this book.

I have tangible evidence in my hands that I should keep writing. I’d like to think that I’m the sort of person who can keep persevering no matter what, but sometimes an unpublished author just needs a little encouragement. Like seeing her short story published in an anthology!

My short story, ‘Naming’, has been published in the latest Stringybark anthology called Standing by. I have read this so many times – on screen and also on three pieces of A4 paper, covered with highlighters and arrows and deleted lines and words scrawled in my tiny handwriting in the margin. It feels a little surreal to read it printed in an actual book – you know, one with a proper binding and an imprint page!

My parcel of books came yesterday, and I’m looking forward to distributing them. If you would like to read my story – and the many other fine ones included in the anthology – you can order either a print version for $14.95 or an online version for $3.99 here.

Today would have been my Grandad’s birthday – I can’t even begin to work out how old he would have turned. (And it’s also one of my gorgeous godsons’ birthdays, too!) Grandad went weekly to the library to borrow books, and if he came across a swear word, he would immediately shut the book, then return it to the library! He was a lovely faith-filled, family-orientated, football-following gentleman. He was a great one for reciting poetry, particularly Australian verse, so I think it is particularly fitting that I post about the Stringybark anthology on his birthday.

Small announcement – I have decided that as time is slipping steadily away – as it always does! – I will blog here once instead of twice a week. I’m choosing to put my writing time into writing my books at the moment. I have some fabulous interviews with writers coming up as well as some book reviews for adults and kids. Thank you for following my blog – I really appreciate your support!

Yesterday, I found myself telling a childhood story in a butcher’s shop. I hadn’t intended to spin a yarn – I wanted to buy chicken thigh fillets to roast with vegetables and diced beef to slow-cook into a ragu.

But when I asked my friendly butcher, Luke, about his week, he told me he had just been to Magnetic Island with his family. Most of the island was a sanctuary, he told me, so there was a koala park and you could feed the wallabies.

Immediately, I was transported back to late 1986, aged 13. The scene – my family home. Specifically, the formal lounge-room which was invitation only, three times a year. There was five of us – my parents, my younger sister and brother, and me.

Probably about our holiday to Magnetic island, I thought. They’re probably going to tell us what to pack.

‘There’s good news and bad news,’ Dad said.

Oh dear. What could this mean?

‘The bad news is – we’re not going to Magnetic Island.’

What? No animals, no plane trip, no Queensland sun, no beach?

But wait, there’s good news, right? Maybe there’s a better holiday!

‘And the good news is …’ my dad paused for dramatic effect. ‘You’re going to have a new brother or sister!’

Don’t think we have ever forgiven my youngest brother for our cancelled trip to Magnetic Island!

I was so interested to hear about Magnetic Island from my butcher, someone who had actually been to this place of my imagination. And he and another customer in the store laughed at my story.

Did I exaggerate there? Of course! Am I exaggerating now – of course!

But the kernels of truth are still there – formal lounge, no holiday – and the indisputable presence of my youngest brother can’t be denied!

As Robert McKee says in his book, Story, substance, structure, style and the principles of screenwriting, ‘Given the choice between trivial material brilliantly told versus profound material badly told, an audience will always choose the trivial told brilliantly.’

So there’s my trivial story for the week. And the meat at this butcher’s shop is always good!

What do you get when you arrive in a room full of women, ready for a literary event? Conversations about books, writing, reading, social media, life balance, families, jobs, publishing houses, washing, agents, editors … and more books. And lots of laughs!

I went to three literary events in the last week or so. I heard Charlotte Wood, Peggy Frew and Alice Robinson on a panel for The Stella Prize – went by myself and knew no one. I had dinner with my bookclub, women I’ve known for many years through our children’s school, to discuss our latest book and swap books for the next twelve months. And I went to a literary dinner to celebrate Natasha Lester’s latest book, where I met a couple of social media friends for the first time, and caught up again with some of my writing group.

While they were all different events with different people, all three focused on women and writing and books. And all three events left me reflecting about how empowering women can be towards each other and how quietly inspiring they are, in managing their families and jobs and in some cases, writing.

My mind is still full of the many conversations I’ve had. At The Stella Prize event, I sat next to a woman in her early twenties, who had just moved from Hobart to Melbourne and was looking for her first full-time job as a copywriter, content writer, anything she could find. My bookclub group discussed Emily Bitto’s The strays, and then exchanged our books – many of them by Australian women writers. And last night at Bellota wine bar, I met Kirsty Manning-Wilcox, who owns the restaurant with her family and has just signed a two-book publishing deal. Natasha read from her book, ‘A kiss from Mr Fitzgerald’, signed my book and answered my questions. I chatted with Sally Hepworth who is writing her third book, to be finished before her third child is born. I finally met Vanessa Carnevale, whose weekly podcast on writing inspires me, and who has also signed a two-book publishing deal. And I sat with Amy Suitor Clarke and Renee Milhulka from my writing group, who fit in writing among jobs and kids.

Yesterday when I sat down to write, I thought of all these women, holding their families and writing and jobs and books to read and books to write in their hearts and hands. I felt grateful to be part of them.

 

It’s the long weekend in Australia for the Queen’s birthday weekend – big yes! Looking forward to a weekend with only one kid sporting event and one extra day to fit everything in.

I’m also looking forward to some more reading. I’ve almost finished reading Anna Spargo-Ryan’s debut novel The paper house (heartbreaking story, beautiful language) and I’m expecting a parcel from Booktopia today with Tara Moss’s latest book, Speaking out and a book on writing from Robert McKee.

And there’s always online reading. Here are a few articles and blog posts which have caught my eye this week.

• This post by Tara Mohr resonated with me. I have admired her writing for a long time, and I think her book, Playing big should be read by all women. I’m thinking I need to reread it now. Tara encourages women to ‘play big’ and stop placing limitations on themselves, whether they’re creatives, running small businesses from home or heading up a board for a large organisation. She’s a thoughtful and intuitive writer, and I liked what she had to say about writing on her latest post – “there is nothing more important in writing than being endlessly honest with yourself, true to your questions, at your own edges, faithful to your own muse. Because in the end, honey, no matter who it reaches, your creative work is for the evolution of your soul.”

• Renee Milhulka wrote a post about our writing group. It’s hilarious and true, and almost made me cry. How did she know exactly how I felt when I walked into our first meeting? How did she describe me like that after only knowing me for a couple of months? Here’s her description of me: “Her writing is very much like she is, quiet and thoughtful with a hidden strength running through it. She is generous with her limited time, helpful, but most of all totally committed to making her work the best it can be which I find totally motivating.”

• This UK post has some tips to encourage kids to read. Some of these tips we are already implementing but there are a few we could work on. I definitely need to spend more time reading Mr 12’s books, so we can have conversations about them. “Research has shown that children who enjoy reading and spend more time reading for pleasure have better reading and writing skills, a broader vocabulary, and an increased general knowledge and understanding of other cultures. But with so many other activities competing for children’s time as they get older, how can you continue to encourage your child to read for pleasure?”

• If you are a writer or a woman working from home with small kids, this post from Ali Luka will offer a few tips. She’s very practical and has some excellent ideas for fitting in time to write. “As a parent writer, you can’t possibly live up to some “perfect” standard – not when it comes to your writing, and not when it comes to your kids. And frankly, it doesn’t even matter.”

Happy reading! Have a lovely long weekend.

 

 

And we’re sliding through the year, almost halfway down the slope, and I’m not gaining enough momentum with my writing. I’m distracted. Distracted by the mundane matters of what will we eat for dinner and where are the kids playing basketball and who will drive who where on the weekend.

And I’m also distracted by choosing lights for our renovation – it’s a lovely, shiny distraction that’s creative in its own right. I saw a copper ring of tiny wing-like lights that looked like fireflies from a distance and imagined sleeping or dining beneath them… But those beautiful lights (which are far past my budget anyway!) aren’t helping me to work on my books.

So I’ve signed up to do Allison Tait’s ‘Write a book with Al’ – ‪#‎writeabookwithal‬ – an accountability/support group for writers trying to fit in writing among work and family and everything else that goes on in daily life. I want to edit a chapter a day of my first book – really tighten it up.

I have a writing course tomorrow – Revise, revise, revise with Elise Jones from Allen and Unwin publishers and author Kim Kane. So June will be a month of editing and revising my first book, plus some editing work and a storytelling workshop for a client.

I plan on making June a productive editing month – with lit-up, sparkling, evocative imagery, yet casting shadows of intrigue and tension. (Perhaps I may have taken my light analogy too far!)

I hope June is a productive and lit-up month for you!

 

It is autumn in Melbourne, and to celebrate this beautiful, colourful season I have found ten autumnal quotes from Australian books. My post of summer quotes used books that were published a while ago – this collection of autumn quotes are from recently published books. I’ve put the title, author and publication date at the bottom of the post in case you want to guess where the quotes came from. My favourite is the seventh one!

1. The school assembly hall was on the second floor of the building and had a huge balcony that ran all the way along the side with big glass sliding doors that revealed a glorious view out to sea. Today all the glass doors were slid open, allowing the crisp autumn air to flow through. (The hall did get a bit stuffy when all the doors were closed, with all the farting children, perfumed Blonde Bobs and their lavishly cologned husbands.)
2. Autumn skips quickly into winter; the change is faster than any they’ve known before and it seems that there are only two seasons here instead of four: just hot and dry or cold and wet.
3. One autumn afternoon, when the days were beginning to mellow, dusk starting to drift into the garden earlier, filling the air like smoke and making the green of the grass and the glossy, thick hydrangea leaves more intense, Heloise grew fretful in her mother’s absence.
4. It was getting dark and there was still rain close by; she could smell it. Gusts of wind pushed papers in the gutter into a whirl. Dead leaves clogged the drains. The beach and the surf and the golden days of summer seemed a long way away.
5. An early autumn sun, warm for the season, shone over the footy oval while a light breeze skipped here and there – meaning that there’d be no wind advantage for either side.
6. But now the bright autumn afternoon is closing over right in front of us. The blue has all but gone, leaving the air dank and grey. Colours take on an unnatural, almost spooky, intensity in that dim light.
7. In fact, I bet everyone feels that goodbye feeling in autumn, especially. Autumn is the sad season, but once there’s a true sadness within you, autumn will sing it soft and slow in your heart. It’s because of the turning. In that last blaze of red, in the biting air and the slow drift and fall of leaves, you see the slight farewell that life is always repeating. You know you can’t hold it still. You watch it go.
8. Beyond the stable were an orchard and a vegetable patch. The apple trees were laden with fruit. Rose climbed into the lower branches and picked a large, juicy apple, sinking her teeth into it. Maybe I could fetch my new book, and read it here, under the tree in the autumn sunshine, she thought.
9. Within days of the funeral, within hours, Ettie was back in the garden. That autumn she extended up the gully on the other side of the pool meeting native gorse with stands of azaleas.
10. Every year, without fail, the robins disappeared for several weeks at the end of autumn, though she still didn’t know where to, or why.

Which quote was your favourite?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Big little lies, Liane Moriarty, 2014

2. The other side of the world, Stephanie Bishop, 2015

3. The strays, Emily Bitto, 2014

4. The war bride, Pamela Hart, 2016

5. Footy dreaming, Michael Hyde, 2015

6. The convent, Maureen McCarthy, 2012

7. How to make a bird, Martine Murray, 2003

8. Meet Rose, Sherryl Clark, 2011

9. The orchard, Drusilla Modjeska, 1994

10. Nest, Inga Simpson, 2014

I’m happy to share with you that one of my short stories for adults has been accepted for publication in Stringybark’s latest anthology! I entered this competition earlier in the year, and found out this week that my story was highly commended.

The anthology is called Standing by, and is available as an e-book here for the princely sum of $4.00, and will be available as a print book in mid-June for $14.95. You can preorder a copy here – preordering does help with print runs.

My story is called Naming, and I wrote it about two years ago. I was completing an online short story course through Writers Victoria and had submitted a couple of short stories, around the theme of adult fairy tales. I’m interested in these classic tales, the idea of journeys and trials and tribulations, the changes the hero/heroine has to go through to reach their goal, good versus evil, and I love all the imagery in fairy tales – keys, the number three, woods, names, mirrors and so on.

I woke up early one morning and in a half-dream, almost wrote half of this Naming story in my head. When I realised I had half a story, I quickly got out of bed and typed it up before anyone else woke up. Thank goodness for sweetly-sleeping children that morning!

I worked on the second half of the story, and edited the whole story a few times before I sent it into my tutor. She gave me some positive feedback, and I then sent it out to a few competitions, with no success until now!

This is the first time I’ve ever had such a complete idea for a story. Usually I have an idea, then something else latches on to that idea, then I explore it a bit, then I think about the main character some more, then I start writing. But this story felt like a gift.

I used the fairy tale Rumplestiltskin as inspiration, but it’s a contemporary story, told from the viewpoint of a twelve-year-old boy who is somewhere on the autistic spectrum.

Thank you to everyone who has left lovely comments on Facebook or forwarded my tweet on Twitter – I’m so grateful for your support – it’s made my week!

I’m reading my way through the other stories in the anthology, and I’m honoured to be published in such a talented group of writers.

Every year, May means Mother’s Day, three family birthdays, gorgeous autumn leaves everywhere. This year, I also want it to mean:

• Book 1 – I want to complete another draft of my first children’s book. I am now part of a writers’ group, and my group gave me so much excellent feedback that I want to weave it into this draft. They have helped me to see both the big picture and the small details that need some fine-tuning, and I want to incorporate this into the whole manuscript.

• Book 2 – I’m working my way through my notes from Kate Forsyth’s class, writing a pitch, synopsis, outline and character sketches, using my first draft as a base, but knowing it will continue to change. It’s satisfying to see that all this planning is starting to shape this book for the better.

• Book 3 – I want to spend the next six months planning this book, so I can write a decent first draft in NaNoWriMo this year. So now I have made myself accountable to you publicly! This is my chance to really try out a new way to plan my writing. Last year, I gave myself a month to plan, and it wasn’t enough. Here’s hoping six months is better timing. I have bought myself a beautiful new notebook to plan out Lana’s story. My new notebook – same as the photo above – has the complete story of Anne of Green Gables in tiny font, as the lines you write on. So I am writing notes for my story in between the lines of L. M. Montgomery’s book! And I love the quote on the front – Miss 9 would definitely agree! Lana is Calvin’s twin brother, the protagonist from Book 2. She plays basketball and netball, is extremely bossy and organised, plays the drums and loves Anne of Green Gables. That’s all I know about her at this stage but I’m looking forward to finding out more!

• I’m also teaching a writing workshop at my children’s school this month. I love being around so many engaged and creative kids – they come up with the best ideas and their enthusiasm for writing stories is inspiring for me.

I hope May is an inspiring and productive month for you, too!