Reader, I married him

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Dear blog readers, twenty years ago this week I married my husband.

In those twenty years, we’ve had three children. We’ve spent quite a few days in the Royal Children’s Hospital, once with our five-year-old son when I was eight-months pregnant with our second son, and once with our nine-month baby girl when she had a major operation on her skull.

We’ve had our fair share of arguments – one was over the most important matter of cutlery! We’ve completed three post-graduate degrees between us, while working full-time – the non-studying one was always responsible for grocery shopping.

We’ve lived in four houses. We’ve discussed budgets, holidays, car problems, schooling, books, parenting philosophies, new recipes, work issues, movies and whether this picture should be hung higher or lower.

We’ve supported each other through career challenges, creative endeavours and minor health issues. We’ve cooked many meals and washed many dishes, flipped coins over whose turn it was to iron the school uniforms and painted the interior of a house together.

We’ve sung in the car on road trips, browsed in many, many bookshops, reminded each other that the car needs petrol. We’ve pulled out weeds in the garden, and had finance meetings while pushing our kids on swings at the park. We’ve sat on separate couches to watch the Anzac Day footy – I sit with the kids, barracking for the Bombers – he cheers on the Pies from the other side of the room!

In the middle of the night, one of us has gotten out of bed to soothe the crying baby, saying, ‘You stay in bed, I’ve got this.’ We’ve reminded ourselves – sometimes through gritted teeth – that love is a decision!

Can a marriage be summed up in text messages?

  • don’t forget milk on the way home
  • have a day of greatness!
  • what time is Mr 13’s game?
  • when do I have to pick up Miss 10 from the party?
  • good luck with your meeting – you’ll rock it
  • love you
  • did you book in Mr 8 for the school disco?
  • I believe in you
  • may your words flow
  • I didn’t know I had to – I thought you were doing that!
  • you’d better leave work now – roast lamb and red wine for dinner!
  • how far away are you? I needed to go five minutes ago!
  • miss you

In our wedding ceremony, we played the song, ‘Storybook love’, from one of our favourite movies, The princess bride. The chorus goes like this:

My love is like a storybook story
But it’s as real as the feelings I feel.

I’m grateful our love is as magical and happily-ever-afterish as a fairy-tale, yet solidly grounded in the realities and challenges of modern family life. My kind of story.

 

 

 

* The title of this post comes from a line in Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.

20 comments

  1. Congratulations Karen & Brett. What wonderful memories you have created and l wish you many many more. Enjoy Cazx💖

  2. Wonderful blog. On our frig we have a tattered orange cartoon that says – ” marriages may be made in HEAVEN ……but you have to do your own maintenance”
    Sounds like what you are doing!!! Congratulations.
    Love Pam and Ged xx

  3. A wonderful summation of being happily married for 20 years—and still both smiling.
    Was a great wedding. Congratulations to you both.❤️

  4. Congratulations on 20! When we got married (20 years ago in 2 weeks!) someone told us to always remember to find joy in the ordinary. You do and it works!

  5. Karen,

    Well done to you both – the hard work has paid off many times over. There are also latent benefits – in that your children will have a model to strive for in a few years when it is their turn and you will know the absolute delight in knowing they have chosen wisely.

  6. Congrats! I think you’ve captured marriage perfectly. It’s not always glamorous but how wonderful is it to have that person beside you whom you know will always be there to hold your hand through the dark times and to celebrate the good?

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